James' Girl
by Joss And The Arc
Summary: "And she's watching him with those eyes. And she's loving him with that body, I just know it. And he's holding her in his arms, late late at night." Oh, how my heart was breaking over the girl I never had a chance with.


**A/N: this one-shot is much better understood if you're listening to Jessie's Girl by Mary Lambert.**

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><p>James Potter and Lily Evans were...dating?<p>

The news sent my heart straight to the floor, breaking into a million pieces. I still remember where I was when I heard the news. Sitting in my regular seat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, munching on some chips and enjoying pumpkin juice (it was October, after all).

Ben, my best friend, had been nowhere to be found all morning. But about halfway through lunch on this particular Saturday afternoon, he sat down next to me. "Did you hear?" he asked, excitedly. "Evans finally said yes to Potter!"

I choked on the chip that was halfway down my throat already. "Are you sure?" I managed to cough up as Ben hit me hard on the back to clear my airway. "She's always hated him, why would she say yes?"

"Apparently the prat finally took his head out of his arse and finally started acting like an adult," Ben said, practically bouncing around in his seat. "Aren't you happy for them?"

"O-of course I am," I managed to sputter out quietly. "Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom." I jumped up from the table and hurried out of the Great Hall.

I had to get to the bottom of this, now.

I made my way up to Gryffindor tower, and sure enough, as I neared the Common Room I could hear girls' squealing inside.

"Bubotuber," I said quickly to the portrait of the Fat Lady, who let out a 'hmph' but let me in nonetheless.

There she was, in the middle of the common room, surrounded by nearly every other girl in our Year. Lily Evans. As perfect as the first time I ever saw her, only moreso now, because her face was lit up with happiness. My best friend.

"Jay!" She squealed, throwing her arms around my neck in a hug. When she pulled away, she had to look up to see my pained smile. "You won't believe who I'm dating!"

"James Potter?" I asked, trying to hide the hurt in my voice. She hadn't let go of my neck yet, and I still had my arms around her waist.

We used to be inseperable. Friends ever since we were children, I was always so sure we would end up together...we went to Hogwarts together, grew up together...Nobody she'd ever dated had been a threat, I knew none of them loved her. But James...it was obvious from Day One that he was different. He would be the one to take my girl away from me. I was right.

"How did you know?" She pouted. How cute.

I smiled just a little. "Ben told me."

"Ugh, he's such a gossip fag," Lily groaned. "I suppose everyone knows now, don't they?"

My teeth clenched. Though Lily was my best friend, I couldn't stand people calling Ben a 'fag', evn if it was with good intentions. I hated the word, it was so derrogatory. But I ignored it for Lily. "Of course they do," I said smoothly.

Lily laid her head on my chest, still refusing to let go. At this point, even the girls she'd been talking with earlier were looking at us strangely. It probably didn't look good, a girl with a boyfriend hanging all over me like this, but I didn't care. She was my Lily. I laid my head on top of hers and my mouth twitched as I tried to hold in the tears that I knew were coming.

"I'm so happy, Jay," she whispered, finally letting go of me.

I didn't want her to. Please come back. I need you.

"I remember when you hated James Potter," I laughed a little bitterly. "What happened to that girl, the one that always stood up for Snape when Potter and his friends were bullying him?"

Lily's face turned sour. "I found out who my real friends are," she said quietly. "Snape clearly wasn't my friend, and James stood up for me..." Ah, yes, that had been the deciding factor. The thing that made her not hate him. When he stood up for her after Snape called her a Mudblood.

She suddenly grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out into the hallway, where we wouldn't be overheard by the gossipy girls from the Gryffindor Common Room.

"I think I love him, Jay."

I froze. Those words made me feel a million times worse than what I'd heard in the Great Hall. Love him? She didn't even know him. Wait, that was a lie. They've known each other forever. Shit. He's not good for you? Yeah, let's go with that.

"Just..." You can't do that. Don't lose her friendship by telling her he's not good for her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you've been in love with her since you were children. Now's the time! "Be careful, Lils." Ah, you pussy. You couldn't do it. "Don't let him hurt you."

I placed my hand on her cheek, and she nuzzled into it. "You're always looking out for me, Jay. You're like the big brother I never had."

Ouch, brother card. Lily had no idea she was ripping my heart out and stomping all over it right now. James Potter wasn't right for her, I was. But I didn't have the heart to tell her that. It wasn't right anyways. If you love someone, you let them be happy, right? Don't mess this up for her. If she's happy, I'm happy.

"I'm happy for you, Lily."

"Thanks, Jay."

I couldn't handle it anymore. I turned on my heel and headed down the hallway, not caring where I was going. I must've bumped into a dozen people on my way. Finally, I found myself on the Second Floor, outside a bathroom. Perfect, nobody would look for me here.

I slipped into the bathroom unnoticed by the passing students. After thoroughly inspecting everywhere to make sure there was nobody around, I broke down crying. I leaned against one of the sinks as full sobs racked my body.

I couldn't do this. Lily. _My _Lily. Had been taken away by that piece of shit Potter, who only ever started talking to her because she was pretty. I was the one who'd been there over the years. Through her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak. She was my first love, when we were little kids.

I turned around to face the mirror above the sink and ran my hands through the thick black hair on my head. Slowly, I reached up and untied the long locks, letting them fall free. I never let my hair down.

My mascara was smudged, and the little bit of eyeliner I wore was now running down my face. I couldn't get the image of Lily Evans and James Potter out of my head.

Lily never noticed me, even though I was there all along.

I was just another fag.

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><p>When the funeral for Lily and James Potter was held, there were only a few attendees. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, and various friends from their Hogwarts days. The ceremony was short and beautiful, and at the end, all the magical folks raised their wands to the sky as a symbol of respect.<p>

It was snowing out, and as it started to get heavier, all the guests retreated inside to get out of the cold. All but one.

Jayne sat in front of Lily Potter's grave for hours after everyone had gone home, and even after it was dark out. She was cold, of course, but that never mattered before. It didn't matter the time she gave Lily her coat because she'd forgotten hers, and it didn't matter now. Lily needed her.

She cried nearly-frozen tears at the Potters' graves for hours.

And in the morning, they would find her frozen to death, still sitting against Lily's headstone.

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><p><strong>Oh man, I don't even know where this came from. The feels while I was writing this. What period-induced sadness is this? I hate myself.<strong>

**It's not even that well-written, I have no idea why I'm posting this. It was just all tangled up in my feelers and I needed to get it out. I'll probably delete it later, but that's okay. For now, here it is. Also, yes. Jayne is a lesbian. In case you didn't figure that out.**


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